Bird Cubed

This year I had three Thanksgiving dinners and I'm not even sorry. By the third meal I actually thought twice about my second helping of stuffing - but went ahead with it anyway.

At my folks' place it's my job to mash up the 'taters and I relish it. Mashed potatoes is one of those foods that can really go either way taste-wise. I mean, you could probably figure out a way to cut out a lot of the fat involved with their preparation and even get your perpetually dieting aunt to try 'em. But, then you get those dry nasty clumpy bits of starch that makes no impact whatsoever.

My mashed potatoes are not for the weak. What is it in the world that makes things taste good? Is it sugar? While the sweet stuff certainly has its place, you can't always rely on it to take your dish up a notch. Is it protein? Steak ain't bad at all, but a really lean steak tastes like a wallet. Is it garlic or A-1 or even liquor? All good, but no, they're not the top of the taste heap. Fat is.

You want something to taste good? Put a crapload of bacon in it, on it, or up in its business. You want a steak to taste like a steak? Get the one with marbly fat bits. You want mashed potatoes to taste like cloud droppings? Use whipping cream and a grip of butter.

A couple of times during my 'tater preparation family members commented that I was "trying to kill them with all that butter" or "couldn't I just use milk instead of all that cream?" Damn people! This is Thanksgiving. These are mashed potatoes! You want your pile of taters to ruin that glorious plate of bird and stuffing and cranberry goo? No, you want it to compliment the stuff Aunt Dode busted her ass to make.

My mashed potatoes taste like a starchy milkshake. They taste like your first real kiss. They couldn't taste better if Julia Freakin' Child made 'em because she'd do the same thing - whoop their ass with fat.

This has been a message from the Fat Council.

- Skip

Hello. Do you like to suffer? You do? Then you've probably dreamt about the TransIowa race. Most of you inclined to participate have likely already been following this year's TransIowa developments, but Kerkove and Guitar Ted want you slackers to know that version 3.0 is happening in April, registration is open, and the deadline is looming. Get on it.

Speaking of rodents, I discovered a new seasonal sport today called Bowling for Muskrats. When the cold temperatures up here starts to freeze the lakes, there are open patches of water where muskrats like to hang out. They will sit on the edge of the ice and flop in and out of the water. The sport consists of rolling a rock across the ice and scaring them all into the water. Getting them all to jump in the water is a strike. I know you animal lovers are thinking it cruel and inhumane, but have you ever had one lunge at your leg with their ugly buck teeth, their beady little eyes and that scuzzy long tail? I have and now it's my turn to taunt them. The best thing is that by the time you scare them into the water and go retrieve another rock, they're all sitting back up on the ice waiting for another roll. If I go to hell for this, I'm sure the muskrats and I can duke it out there too.

Game one: 20 rocks, 1 strike.

Occasionally, we get questions about how to haul a Pugsley with an automobile roof rack. Pugsley uses an offset 135mm-spaced fork, so it won't simply plug into a fork-mount type of rack. Some racks will allow the retrofit of a longer dummy axle to accommodate the wider-than-standard fork dropout spacing. But it makes more sense, in my opinion, to leave the car rack alone and build a removable adapter instead. That way, the rack can be used for 100mm-spaced and Pug-spaced forks without having to change hardware.

Hurricane Components makes several Fork Up adapters to fit a wide range of bicycle forks. I chose to modify their Riser model to work with a Pugsley fork.



After knocking out the stock plugs, I shortened the disc-side plug 4.5mm (the thickness of the hub locknut), drilled it out to accept a 10mm axle, and reinstalled it into the Riser center tube. A new drive-side plug was made from 25.4mm (1") round aluminum stock. It was sized to stick out 40.5mm from the end of the 80mm-wide Riser center tube. Here's how it adds up: 4.5mm locknut + 40.5mm drive-side plug + 80mm center tube + 5.5mm disc-side plug + 4.5mm locknut = 135mm spacing. A 10 x 1 x 146mm Wheels Manufacturing axle holds it all together, and a rear Shimano QR skewer keeps the Pug fork clamped to the adapter assembly.



Most wheel tray/fork mount style bike racks don't readily fit our Endomorph tire, but a toe strap can be used to cinch down your rear Pugsley wheel to the rack wheel tray. The tire won't fit within the tray, but it should stay centered if the toe strap is adequately tightened. A wheel tray Endomorph adapter would probably be an easy thing to make, but I'm not sure it's necessary.

Fat Squirrel Season

Everybody knows that squirrels store nuts for the winter. They store them in the ground, probably up in trees and they eat them to get a nice fat belly for the winter. But what I notice most about squirrels this time of year is that they are particularly slow, sluggish, indecisive, unpredictable and psycho.

Case in point, I'm riding my bike in a quiet residential neighborhood this morning (with a 100+ pound trailer in tow) and I see a squirrel walking her dog. She's stopped on the corner of an uncontrolled intersection while the leashed dog sniffs around. From a distance, I ring my bell to get her attention and we make positive eye contact. Knowing it's fat squirrel season, I have my fingers on the brake levers as I approach. About 12 feet before I enter the crosswalk, the squirrel decides that her and the dog are going to test their right of way across the street. I skid the rear wheel and start drifting sideways, just barely missing squirrel and pooch. You know when you're skidding and all you can think of is "did that squirrel want to commit suicide?" but you're glad you have brakes and skills to spare it's life.

So as I maneuver around the squirrel I ask in a fairly pleasant tone, "do you walk out in front of people often?"

Squirrel chatters, "it's my right of way"

Me, "you may be right, but I rang my bell so you could see me, we made direct eye contact, you were stopped on the sidewalk with no intended direction across the street and then you just walked in front on me. I just didn't want to hit your dog, that's all"

Squirrel, "you could've gone around me"

Me, "obviously, I just did"

Squirrel "ra ra ra ra ra"

Me, "I just didn't want to hit your dog, ma'am"

Seriously folks, it's fat squirrel season. Squirrels are slow, preoccupied with gathering expensive christmas nuts at the malls for their kids, chattering on their phones and crabby because it's cold and dark outside. The last thing they are thinking about is getting tangled up in your wheels and sending you to the hospital. I witnessed three more very close calls between squirrels in cars within one block this morning, it was like they pumped fresh roasted cashew smell in the air during a coffee embargo. So until fat squirrel season is over, watch out. We wouldn't want your holiday meal to be pureed hospital turkey.

Upcoming New Surly Stuff

We introduced a few new things at the Interbike tradeshow this year. Things that aren't available right now, things that still need quite a bit of developement and testing and things that we all have to wait for.

New colors (they're up on the frame pages now) - available Spring 2007

Crosscheck - green goes, Misty Mountain Grey is new, black remains
Karate Monkey - brown goes, Husker Blu is new, black remains
Pugsley - purple goes, new color is Metallic Thunderhead Gray
Instigator - black goes, new color is red Rocket
Steamroller - charcoal goes, new color is Maroon (which really looks like chocolate syrup)
Pacer - black goes - new color is Silver Bullet metallic with new graphics - super hot
Trucker and 1x1 stay the same colors for 2007

Current colors are the only colors available until Spring. Now's your last opportunity. No, you don't get a discount.

Mr Whirly Crankset - available summer 2007
An external bearing crankset with changeable spiders (94mm, 104mm, 110mm) with a spindle for Pugsley too.
Will come in black or silver, 170mm, 175mm, 180mm
Price is TBD

Big Dummy frameset - available summer 2007
A long frame built specifically to work with the accessories from Xtracycle. It's a cargo bike and it's going to be very cool. Lots of testing still needs to be done. Final price is TBD, but it will be in the $811.06 range for the frame and fork - Xtracycle bits are not included in that price

Complete bikes - available spring 2007
Long Haul Trucker, blue color only under $1000 MSRP
Steamroller under $675 MSRP
We'll post the spec sometime in the near future.

Dingle cogs - available soon - couple of months
Single speed spacer kit - available now, wow wow

If you have questions, let us know. If you're calling to tell us how worthy you are of testing some of these developing products, don't bother.

e-mail us at derby@surlybikes.com or call 1-877-743-3191

I'm sure some of you out there like those fancy "clothiers" that supply at high mark-up the appearance of a life you don't actually live. You know what I'm talking about... places like Abercrombie&Fitch or J.Crew, where for only hundreds and hundreds of dollars you too can look sort of like you might have a cabin in Maine (instead of a studio with a mini microwave and a dorm fridge), a well-groomed and charmingly playful springer spaniel (instead of a goldfish floating in algae), and a statuesque, chisel-jawed boy or girl by your side, wind-swept hair perfectly messy as you motor to the general store in your impeccably restored panel truck. Me, I can't get behind that sort of hoopla, but more power to you. Especially now that you have an alternative to the panel truck. The disturbing thing for me isn't the price but that it's actually a pretty cool looking bike. It's even made, as it says on the page, of tubular steel & rubber (not counting the basket, evidently), so it looks more rustic than your $6000 carbon fiber whatever which hangs on your wall currently, though both will remain unridden, unhappy, and unencumbered by purpose. Yet another perfect accessory for that disappointing lie you call a life.

Beer Report

Did you know there was a goddess of beer? There is and her name is Ninkasi and she has been granting us some pretty excellent new beverages lately.

1st, new local brewers Surly Brewing Company have been putting out some amazing stuff for about a year now. Their standard flavors are an over the top hopped pale ale called Furious and a taste bud overloading brown ale called Bender. They've also have some seasonals like an excellent version of a Belgian saison, an Octoberfest and now a Russian imperial stout. These polar-opposite-of-Mich Golden Lite beers have only been available on tap around the area until recently. Omar the owner decided to surprise us all by waiting out on the course during our Homie Fall Festival with a bike trailer full of 16oz CANS of Bender. Did he read our minds about the need for a great canned beer? Not only was this a great stop on the fest, but we were the first people in the city to know about their new cans. Since this world premier, they've been tested and approved for movie theaters and on Wednesday night rides. My two year search for excellent canned beer just ended.

2nd, Just 24 hours after a conversation about Bell's Brewery in Michigan having about 8 stouts and only 2 pale ales in their line up, a bottle of their new pale ale Hopslam found it's way into my hands last night. The name speaks for itself, in the sense that your mouth is instantly filled with the intense bitterness, flavor and aroma of hops. The word KAPOW comes to mind, as does YUMTASTIC, as does EMPTY. Just remember, the second best thing about a tasty beer is the burp.

Oh Ninkasi, you have been kind to us and we will show you our appreciation by filling our mouths with these liquids of champions.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT, PART 2 (scroll down and read Kenny's report 1st)

Picking up where Kenny Bloggins left off, the remainder of the group was still a dozen strong. We ripped up more gravel hills to the base of a skijump that overlooked suburbia. There was some man made snow up there, so we unsuccessfully attempted to slide or snowboard down it on my Xtracycle snapdeck. It would've worked if the snow was a little harder. Stupid sexy Indian summer heatwave.

Our Zeigle Scout guide said we just had a few more hills to climb, liar. Roller after roller, it hurt so good. At one stop we thought to ourselves, are there any bars in Bloomington still open? Yes, and it's called Majors. Normally frequented by business types and overly perfumed/cologned people that are dressed to impress, our smelly carcasses made our way just in time for last call. Sierra Nevada Celebration ale in a big mug never tasted so good and the hop aroma momentarily blocked the smell of us.

A few of us had planned to camp out in the park, since we were already most of the way to work. So while the main group headed northbound into Minneapolis, 5 of us headed south to the Minnesota river to start a fire and finally kill the beers we'd been hauling around all night. With fire started, we all told our stories of the first few WedNiteRides we've done. These stories dated all the way back to 1995, just before the enhancement of singlespeeds and derbying entered the fray and changed it for good.

Bedtime was slightly before the sun came up and those warm temps from the day had dropped into the low 40's F, a full 30 degrees. Waking up to cool air, the sound of a river and rustling leaves is like therapy for anything. Then I looked over and saw the carnage from last night and all pretty images of Mutual of Omahas Wild Kingdom went up in smoke.

The two mile ride from the camp spot to work was just enough to burn some fumes off. I still smell like campfire and my body feels like it was rolled off that skijump a few times, but my only regret is not doing this more often.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT

I am the passenger
And I ride and I ride
I ride through the city's back side
I see the stars come out of the sky
They're bright in a hollow sky
And it looks so good tonight...
-Iggy Pop

A big, bright moon, illuminating reddish-purple corduroy clouds, and 65F air (tropical for Minnesoter this time of year) set the scene for a real good WNR. We rolled more or less south through the belly of MPLS, over lake paths and streets, into and back out of cul-de-sacs, got pooped out into hidden suburban singletrack, and eventually found our way into Bloomington. Highlights included a long stretch of railroad track, a beer stop on a highway overpass, The Gravel Grinder (fun is pain), and empty wide open streets with a couple of really nice long rolling downhills. Sidenote: Dr. Swerve rode the entire night on his XtraSurly (Xtracycle Free Rad making sweet love to an Instigator), carrying 8,025.658 Surly tons of camping gear. Rock star.
There is virtually zero traffic in Bloomington at 12 o'clock. The only time cars show up is when 3 or 4 people tangle their bikes together at speed and end up in an unnervingly quiet heap after a loud crash involving lots of sparks. Standing around checking bikes and people for serious damage, untangling the mess sprawling across one lane, that is when the headlights crest a ridge and the whole mess has to move over to the grassy section. KK's wheel got munched but remained rideable and Gnar Gnar Brau Pow got some scrapes that later bonded to his arm warmers (leading to a reopening of the wounds upon removal of the arm warmers later in the ...night? morning? ). Everyone rode on. Except me. Knowing I had a good 18 miles or so to get home, and not having eaten anything since lunch 10 hours earlier, I turned northeast as the rest of the group launched back into some more hidden trail that led to the crest of the ski jump hill.
Nothing in Bloomington is open at midnight. Not a BK drive-thru, not a gas station convenience store, not a thing. Nada. I didn't see a single car for over 10 miles. I took a couple of detours in search of some kind of food and finally found a mostly deserted Pizza Luce in uptown MPLS (i.e., almost home), where I ate two slices, drank a pint, and remounted for the final stretch, getting back to the Fortress of Solitude a little after 1 a.m., where I slept the sleep of the dead.

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EMAIL TODAY FROM TONY J:
"I'm a little shook up about Britney and K-Fed. Apparently, he was informed his wife filed for divorce via text message. That moment was caught on video; I saw it on the news this morning. So pointless and awful, it's hilarious....kind of like Leif Garrett."

Um...yeah. O.K.

Big Dummy is Stoked

Todd Fahrner, Mr. Cleverchimp, sent me a Stokemonkey bracket for the Big Dummy. I installed it last night/early this morning, so I could ride it into work today. I’m happy to report that it works great. The lighter, stiffer Big Dummy carries the load of the motor and battery better than my Instigator Xtracycle, and the mounting hardware is a bit tidier.





I’ve been experimenting with different battery mounting locations, and I prefer the top of the Snapdeck. It frees up both of my Freeloader cargo bags and centers the weight of the battery on the bike. The battery is shown wrapped in a removable foil-covered duct-insulating bubble-wrap cover to keep it warmer as colder Minnesota winter temps start to creep into the forecast. I’m planning on using the Stokemonkey through the winter, and nickel metal hydride battery performance levels tend to drop when the temperature drops below freezing.

The metal box on the handlebar is a cheap aluminum project box from Radio Shack, mounted to the bar using a Minoura bottle cage clamp assembly, that houses the DrainBrain wattmeter/speedometer. The box is ugly and a bit bulky. But it protects the computer and keeps driving rain from entering the Drainbrain housing at the switch location – the Achilles heal of the product in regards to weatherproofing. I’ll fabricate something a little smaller and prettier when time allows.

Why use a Stokemonkey? 1) It's fun going fast. 2) My average speeds with the Stokemonkey hover around 32 kph (20 mph) while obeying traffic laws. Without the Stokemonkey, I’m averaging about 24 kph (15 mph)…and I work harder. Stokemonkey buys me additional time with my family each day. If I used the motor each work day over the course of a year, I'd expect to save 150 - 170 hours of commuting time. That's worth something. 3) It’s fun going fast. 4) When riding on public roads, it’s safer to travel at/near the speeds of automobile traffic. 5) It's fun going fast.

I’ll always have a non-Stokemonkied Xtracycle or Big Dummy, too, because I don’t want the battery to limit my range when I need to go long distances…camping, touring, and commuting more than 20miles. And, we all know that technology will eventually let us down. When my Stokemonkey battery dies (or I forget to charge it) or I break a wire or burn out a controller or throttle pot, I can always rely on tried-and-true leg power to haul my stuff around.

This past week was kind of sad in that we had two friends in the bike industry quit their jobs.

Brian "I can probably fix it" Rose, yes the same guy as Brian "I learned everything I need to know on the History and Discovery channels and on the streets of Pittsburgh" Rose. You know who I'm talking about? Master suspension and disc brake tech, master sausage maker (no joke), loyal friend and frequent visitor to our offices just left his day job at Quality Bicycle Products. Brian was also known for starting stories off with "This one time in Pittsburgh when I was a messenger and living inside a cubby hole in the coffee shop..." He was at QBP for 6.18 years and will now be seen and heard slinging java at CRC Coffee/Bikes in Minneapolis. But we suspect he has something bigger, better and with much less responsibility up his sleeve. B.Rose, even though we'll see you all the time, you'll be missed around the office.



Our other friend is Jessica "this IS my real hair" Stein from Spot Brand, who is leaving her job 9 years after starting the company with Michael Golinski. I can't help but feel sad that she's no longer a part of the company, since that's how we all met. Jessica is perhaps the sweetest chick in the whole bike industry, she's been to every SingleSpeed World Championships and she has impeccable taste in shoes. Jessica, even though we'll see you at least twice a year, you've done a great job at Spot and we wish your next job will kick ass.

How Was Your Halloween?

Ours was not too shabby. Nick hosted his annual bash, and rather than try and explain it I think you should just refer to the pictures below. I will say I'm glad parties like this only come once a year, though.

The hottie on the left is none other than Andy Corson. The charming clown is Nick Sande.


I went as a Twister game. I could never have imagined how my night would end up when I chose this costume.


Emily Richard showed up as Working Girl, and boy did she look hot. Fellers, she's available.


P.J. Ramstack showed up as the creepy uncle. I'm really sorry I even took this picture.


Unfortunately I didn't get pix of Sov and his lady, or Grayboy (as some kind of winged rodent).

As for Homey Fall Fest report, that ain't my thing, cuz I took zero photos. I did take about an hour of video though. Send me $19.995 plus S&H and I'll send you a copy right out.

Some of you have asked us when the Big Dummy will be available. The answer is not until next summer, 2007. We currently have one single sample for us to testride and I just got done with my three weeks of testing on it. Here are the results, mainly in comparison to my Instigator frame with the Xtracycle Free Radical bolt-on.

During city commutes with a normal load, the bike is noticeably quicker and more nimble in handling. It's about 1 1/2 pounds lighter just in the frame and fork, yet it's torsionally stiffer and does not fishtale like the Insti/FreeRad. The nice vertical compliance that is inherent in long frames is still there, but it has lessened a bit. With the slight bouncing feeling I got when I'd hit small bumps on my Insti/FreeRad virtually eliminated, it rides much more like a normal bike.

One day I loaded it down with two 5-gallon kegs of beer, a soundsystem and another 40 pounds of stuff. All total the load was about 200 pounds in addition to myself, right around the intended weight limit. This size load would've truly kicked my butt on the Insti/FreeRad, but on the Big Dummy I was able to ride it like a bike without the load dominating my every move. My lower back wasn't forced to sit on the seat to stabilize the load the whole day and I ended up putting about 30 miles on it, both on and off road. Sure, my legs were cooked, but it was nice to know was the Dummy was capable of whatever I was capable of.




Day by day I found myself more comfortable with the geometry and was darting through traffic without having to manhandle it. I never once thought I was at a disadvantage in tight situations while at speed. I even ripped a small section of singletrack much faster on the Dummy than the Insti/FreeRad, proving the off road capabilities are improved. Seriously folks, getting a long-wheelbased bike through a corner and occasionally getting a two-wheel drift is a total blast. Imagine having the your weight loaded equally on both front and back wheels without the real threat of endo-ing, and you'll get yourself going faster than you'd ever think you could go.

Overall, I'm extremely happy so far with this preliminary version of the Big Dummy. We still have some things to tweak and more prototypes coming to test this winter, but the results will only get better. Giving this machine back to Brother David Sunshine is bumming me out.