Ask Dr. Surly

A Surly News magazine wherein we consult T. Whitman "Doc" Riviera, chief of quacktigraphy at the Surly Institute for Cycling Healthinesses, with your cycling related medical questions.

Note: Medical science is not for the squeamish or those without a good sense of humor. Discontinue use if negative reaction occurs.


Brock D. of Fritters, Alabama:
Is it true that those anatomic saddles help save your deal?

Dr T:
No, those saddles are a pack of lies, based on pseudo-scientific claims and incomplete facts. The only good saddle is one that feels the least uncomfortable while still retaining an Envy Factor of at least 7, such as a Brooks, a colored Brooks, a Brooks with springs, or a custom cut or handtooled Brooks. We in medical science know this because in scientific studies we found more new riders on Brooks saddles than any other, so using what we in medical science call "deductive logic," we determine that Brooks saddles are therefore the best and perfect for everybody.


Tracy K. of Brooklyn, NY:
As proper fit plays a major role not only in cycling performance but also in longterm joint health, do you have any recommendations for achieving proper fit? I am especially concerned about crank length and saddle position as it relates to knee health.

Dr. T:
Perfect fit is a myth perpetrated by Big Bicycles and enforced by oxygen starved roadies who contort themselves into cramped aero positions for long periods and think about the nuances of q-factor and knee-over-spindle placements. If it hurts, adjust it. If it hurts worse, try adjusting it the other way. Quit your bitching. Even so, riding something that fits really badly will hurt you but if you're dumb enbough to keep riding when it hurts that much, you deserve what you get.


Jenna P. of Ragbrai, Iowa:
I have heard you can OVERhydrate. Is this true?

Dr. T:
Not if you drink enough alcohol.


Terrence J. of Church-on-Trench, Willingford Woodshire, Beamish Noodlehorn Middlewhit, Spicknamby Steppe, Curdlefoot, Surrey, UK:
My hands go numb a lot when I ride. I have a Storck C.1.1 with Oval Concepts RA910 Aergo bar and Campy (Record) brake levers. I have been custom fit using body imaging CGI technology and still have this problem. What can I do?

Dr. T:
(unavailable for comment, pouring self a stiff drink)


Dave A. of Portland writes:
I done ordered it. 60cm Black Cross Check, with a custom single speed build. It's going to be rad. I do have a question for you, though. I have had a perpetual hard-on since ordering it, knowing it is coming. Is that normal?

Dr. T:
Yes, although you should be watching for severe throbbing, numbness, purplish discoloration, hot sweats, cold sweats, housewife's knee, irritation, immaculate conception, dropsy, the bends, scaling, itching, blindness, tumors, difficulty breathing, rapid heartrate, constipation, the shits, burning sensation while urinating, enlarged prostate, fallen arches, vaporlock, and profuse sweating.

I have been away for a week. I returned yesterday. This morning I began going through 8 pages of emails and looked up the Surly blog to see what's what. I read John's last post, twice in fact, but I still am not sure what he said. I can't tell if that's due to the vacation or what. Everything feels different.

I also reread the last post I wrote before leaving. "Me too, but it isn't in my job and/or cops on its ear"? I wrote that, seriously? And misspelled Whose? For the luvva Pete, I really did need a holiday. The cracks were beginning to give.

During my time away many miles were traversed roughshod with friends and compatriots met along the way, etc. But those tales are not to be shared, for they are too personal and esoteric to be useful or harmless. What I can tell you is that we were baggers, and the bagger life can be pretty sweet. I am not a professional or even natural bagger, so for me now that lonely freedom is slipping back to shadow and once again I must do what I must do, though that feels good too. The important thing is that I can once again put together coherent sentences. More on that as events warrant.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

18" Big Dummy framesets are going into stock at our distributor as I write this. More 18" framesets, 22" framesets, and 16" framesets will arrive next week. 20" and more 22" framesets will arrive near the end of August/beginning of September.

They cost more now. $1050 is retail. Life is hard. It still costs less than a Hummer or a Prius.

They'll go pretty fast. Again, life is hard. We're doing all we can.

You're doing a great job today. Everyone around you agrees that you are the hardest working s.o.b. in the place. So, nice work.


-Skip

All right, now that we got that stuffy Bloggins guy outta here we're gonna do things a little different, give yinz some newz you can uze. Maybe they think they're the ones having fun off riding their bikes, dodging farm equipment and eating blowtorch-roasted pig chops. But, NO! The real action is going down at Surly HQ. Read on, you rascally minions:

The spreadsheet artist formerly known as Hairy Jim brought donuts today -- good donuts, too. They were from The Baker's Wife and when donuts are that good one is compelled to use the more formal spelling of 'doughnuts', as a sign of respect. Without Swervy and the PiePlow around we actually got to enjoy a couple, make that several, a piece. Hell, I don't even like donuts, err ... DOUGHnuts, and I ate three. Alix the Great smelled them from her Olympian heights and descended the Ivory Tower to filch one. Yep, they were that tasty. Next time make them all chocolate-iced, Jim.

Staff fashion consultant and authority on all things pop-culture, Emily, joined us in the rowdy den of dank we call the Surly Cave. She moved in last Friday and so far has made a very pleasant addition to the collective Surly orifice, despite her efforts to spearhead the "Keep Donuts Out of the Office" campaign. Good luck, Emily. In fact, you might want to password protect your computer while you're away from your desk. (Especially after recently revealing to the blogosphere a certain unnamed author's most assuredly platonic penchant for Angela Lansbury.)

The Supreme Crack Snacker, Snackey P, made a rare appearance in the above mentioned Cave, considering his normal telecommute takes place from the Steak and Ale all-day happy hour. Look out, Big Tuna, you got some ultimate nacho sauce on your collar.

Brother David's hair continues to grow and he continues to sear the mutton of our brains with tales of packrafts and Pugs traversing Alaska. You did watch the video, didn't you? Scroll down. Click. Do it.

Sov had to duck out early saying he caught some mystery bug from the littl'un. He claimed it wasn't the infamous bottle flu, but we all know the only mystery is attempting to recall how many of which kinds of beverage were indeed consumed last night. Way to take the high road by blaming it on the kid.

Brauer called today and he says, "Hi!" We're all extremely excited to learn he's landed a new job teaching bike safety through derby skills to youngsters in the Mpls public school system. Or was it the parochial school system? Who cares? Learn 'em right, Brauer Power!

I wasn't gonna say anything, but your boss also called. He's a little concerned that you've been working too hard lately. He was gonna wait to tell you this, but it's such good news, why wait any longer? You get tomorrow off! Go ride your bike. Visit Snackey at happy hour. Ride around and get all giddy. Go on! You deserve it!

Now get outta here.

Eric Parsons and Dylan Kentch just returned from an epic (Epic) Pugsley/packraft trip from Hope to Kenai via the Alaskan coast. Check out Eric's account of the adventure.



Here's a little video, too...


Untitled from Eric Parsons on Vimeo.

Epilogue from the Hendrix's Trike story of last week comes to us from a man with two first names, Sean Ralph, who's email says he is a Controller. Me too, but it isn't in my job and/or cops on its ear. Remind me again: who's watching the detectives? Oh yeah, the detectives. Wait...

Also note that several memebers of the elite Surly Super Robot Fighting Ninjas Hi-YAH! Team will be absent from the office this week, including yours truly. If you write in or call, it may take us a little longer to respond than usual. We need a vacation from you sometimes.

Hendrix's Trike Update: TRIKE FOUND!

BRose called me. Earlier today Matt "Puppy Love" Duffin sees the trike being ridden by a 9 year old street urchin. Urchin is confronted, instantly gives up and protests innocence. He is not the first, or probably second or third, person to ride this bike after its fall into prying hands. Trike has obviously been 'around the block' but otherwise rideable. Matt calls BRose. BRose calls Katie, Hendrix's mom. Trike is returned. On Hendrix's Birthday.
BRose spends time talking with family. Katie's mom is in her 80s, Irish, loves bikes, used to ride all the time. BRose mentions his upcoming RAGBRAI adventure. Mom says Oh, she always wanted to go on RAGBRAI. Totally bitchin' real life rock moments.

This story has raised a lot of people from their recumbent lives to the keyboard, asking why we don't "do something." But one guy, John Reid, wrote in and started a dialogue about exactly what could be done. He had a plan ready to set in motion to receive donations to restore Hendrix's trike. There are good people out there. There are idle preteens out there. There is Hendrix on his birthday with his bike back after a couple weeks without it.

Dang.

We don't usually hype ebay auctions around here, but this week our good friend Wayne from Dirt Works Australia emailed us to let us know about something special they are doing to benefit the building of facilities for Djarragun College in Far North Queensland.

Mat Hannan is riding his bike and also auctioning off a Long Haul Trucker that was hand painted by Aboriginal artists in his efforts to raise $5,500 for the college. Only two of these bikes exist, and just one of them is being auctioned.

The auction is currently running on ebay and can be found here.
If this sort of thing interests you please place your bids to have a chance of owning something very unique and helping out a great cause while you're at it.

Oh, for the luvva Pete...

From old pal DP here in the MPLS:
"My gf Katie had her 56cm green stock Cross Check ripped off from garage 37th and Bryant"

Contact me if you know of it's whereabouts. Yeah, right.

Speaking of bike theft this is a pretty good idea, assuming of course that you can survive the entire video due to terrible production value, the off-sync audio and video, the fact that this object is probably beyond reality for most people to implement, and (let's not forget this) that the narrator is inexplicably half naked. But once you get to his explanation of how this thing works to track and punish your thief, you have to admit it's visionary in a vigilante sort of way.

*******

Late entry/addition to today's post, having nothing whatsoever (thank God) to do with bike theft, Steve-o from More!lando, Fla., is putting on a scavenger type ride. Go there, do that.



DESTROY ALL MONSTERS.

It was about this time that the Duke boys realized....


Thanks to Anthony for the shot.

You know, I don't post about every bike that gets stolen around here. It would be mostly futile, the bikes don't usually get found (though sometimes they do), and you'd get as sick of seeing these sorts of messages as I get hearing about them. But I know many of you share my deep dislike for bike theft. So when I read something like this, I get steamed. This is MPLS local:

My friend Katie's son has a brain injury so he rides an adult trike - but some fucker stole it while he was at a park. Hendrix is a big boy and his parents finally had found a bike that fit him well, and this happens. And they really don't have any money. If you could keep an eye out for it, and spread the word, that would be awesome. If anyone has seen it, they can e-mail Katie at larkingurl@aol.com. Thanks much.

Here's the email I got from her:

Here is a front view of the 3-wheeler that Hendrix used to ride all the time. It sits up higher than the chopper one that we have that needs repairs and was much more comfortable for his size. It was stolen from the stop sign on 34th and Pleasant Ave So. (Minneapolis) The bike is red, made by RETRIKE, has a small black pouch on the back seat and two plastic tubs were recently bolted to the back for carrying stuff. There is a hand brake on the left side and I believe it has 5 gears. Hendrix and I appreciate you sending out the picture to your cycling community. Trust me I look for it all the time when I'm out biking. Maybe just maybe someone will spot it.
thanks again,
Katie




If you see this bike, consider following the lead of others who have confronted the rider, explained that they know whose bike it is, and given them the option of returning it or having the coppers called on their sorry ass there and then.

First, one of Surly HQ's favorite regally letarded window lickers Zito, aka The Milwaukee Mouthbreather, has been riding around a lot and finally got a Flickr photoshare account, so he's been sending updates. For instance, he made a new acquaintance while visiting his old stomping grounds:



Yikes. While there, he and Rollin' and Teabag rode Pugsleys "on" the beaches of Lake Michigan. See photo.



Also on his photostream, we find Zito and Teabag and H*Wood H*nderson back in Milwaukee for the Fat Tire Tour. Group cup check?



Check. Subtextual cup check?



And check. I'm pretty sure every single person in this photo is high.

***

Pull on your Pumas, the self titled Mayor of Funkytown has brought another installment of the All City Chamionships back this summer. Billed in a recent email as "BIG!", this is the third year for the All City and the Mayor promises not to win the event and keep the main prize (again). Is that original artwork on the posteur? It feels about 83 in here...



***

In local news, Pavlicra saw this in the paper:

Bicyclists get a break: They will have priority on a dozen miles of local streets
By JIM FOTI, Star Tribune

In another boost for the Twin Cities bicycling boom, more than 12 miles of local streets will be revamped to give priority to bikes.
The metro area is creating a "more benign version of the interstate highway system" for bicycles, said Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak, who visited Richfield on Thursday morning to join bike advocates, other public officials and a representative from Best Buy in announcing the $1.8 million "bike/walk street" program.
Under the federally funded effort, streets in Richfield, northeast Minneapolis, St. Paul's Highland Park and the Roseville-Falcon Heights area will get special pavement markings, new off-street bike paths, bike lanes and crosswalk improvements.
In Richfield, nearly 2 miles of Oliver Avenue S. will be designated as a bike/walk street to give bicyclists an alternative to busy Penn Avenue, parts of which see upwards of 19,000 vehicles a day compared with Oliver's 300 to 500.
Best Buy's headquarters is at the southern end of Oliver Avenue, and Carol Hanson, manager of corporate services, praised the program for giving employees better commuting options.
Richfield Mayor Debbie Goettel said families also appreciate designated routes for bikes, and "even our older residents bike considerably and do a lot of walking." Cars will still be able to use Oliver, but drivers may opt to take other streets when there are a lot of bikes in the road, Goettel said.
The $1.8 million is part of a $21.5 million federal grant being administered by Transit for Livable Communities.
Kay and Pat Elliott, who live on Oliver, were surprised to see Thursday's news conference just down the block -- it was the first they'd heard of the program. But bike clubs and people they know regularly cycle past their house.
"This is a great idea," Kay Elliott said.

I agree, that is a good idea. Anybody with a pulse around here has noticed a sharp rise in bicyclists in the Twin Cities area the last year or two, and this city wasn't suffering from a lack of cyclists as it was.

***

Anthony Calek, an American abroad, gets it all terribly right by maintaining a healthy cynicism in describing on his travel journal our Long Haul Trucker: "[It] was recommended to me by my local bike shop, a heavier frame that had made a name for itself amongst the cykelturen community for its rugged construction and horrid color choices." He goes on to describe it as heavy, and also as being very stable and not hard to pedal. Anthony's excrement sense of humor is revealed in post headings like "Sun is shining, and no rastafarians in sight" and "Norwegians remind me of Americans, they just have more money." Follow along with his narrative, or don't. I'm guessing he couldn't really care less.

***

Lastly today, words of wisdom from the black godfather, musical Mount Olympus Andre Williams:

Overheard in the Surly office

"I had this fascination in 7th grade. I used to make myself tea and watch Murder She Wrote."

-John Fleck, International Surly

Also today I was informed that my dog had to get her picture professionally taken for a "Dog of the Day" wall here at Surly HQ. Here's the handsome result...

So see, they got this bicycle film fest thing happening here in our fair MPLS JULY 9 - 12. That's, like, not very far away and stuff. 17 cities. It's getting big. Lots of movies, usually good too. All by itself that would be something.

But wait, put that checkbook away.

"Hey Andy,
Just wondering if I could get a mention on your website about the scavenger race I'm throwing during the Bicycle Film Festival. I'm sure you'll be mentioning the BFF and all but if you do mention the race maybe you could link to my info about the race.

All the info can be found here.

I'm aiming for a low key fun race that anyone could do. So if you have some friends with older children this could be a real blast for them to partake in.

There will definitely be some wacky and unique stuff going down during the race so spread the word.

Thanks,
Sven"

So there you go. Ride bikes, see movies. Probably squeeze in a cool, refreshing repast too. Here's the MPLS Highlights list from the BFF website. See you there.

Wednesday July 9
8pm/Bikes Rock

Thursday July 10
7pm/Breaking Away
9pm/Fun Bike Shorts
Afterparty at Pi Bar

Friday July 11
7pm/Way Bobby Sees It
9pm/Les Ninja Du Japon
Afterparty at Bedlam Theater

Saturday July 12
1 pm/Scavenger Race (the scavenger race, not a movie called Scavenger Race)
3pm/Adventure For The Cure
5pm/The Six Day Bike Races
7pm/Road To Roubaix
9pm/Urban Bike Shorts
Afterparty at OneOnOne Studio

Big Dumb Price Increases

The good news is that we managed to squeeze in another run of Big Dummy frames. That's one whole production run more than we had originally planned. It is much easier to type about adding another production run of frames than to actually implement such a thing. We did it because of demand, because you people have embraced the Big Dummy and other bikes of its ilk instead of simply buying a somewhat more fuel efficient car. There are not enough thank yous to express how gratifying that is. So more BD frames are coming in a few weeks, and then late this summer we should get even more.

The bad news is that steel prices and transportation costs have increased significantly of late, which means our costs are going up and so are yours. While the price increases will be felt across the line, there are a lot of people waiting on Big Dummy frames who may have paid a deposit already. If you are waiting on a Big Dummy, or if you are a shop that has quoted a price to a customer for a Big Dummy (or Long Haul Trucker for that matter), check in with whoever you need to and update your agreement. MSRP for a Big Dummy frame and fork is now $1050. It was $895. We've actually factored into this number another impending and definitely happening price increase so that we won't have to do this again anytime soon.

So that's that. Again, this will affect the prices of everything we sell, but it should be of particular importance to those of you who have been waiting and budgeting and maybe even paid some money down at your local bike shop in anticipation of your beautiful new whatever... Big Dummy, Long Haul Trucker, what have you.

Sorry to get all business but sometimes cold got to be.

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Also today, The Ramstacker sends evidence that time lapse Dummy building videos are the new black.



I'm just going to say that I vastly prefer the Twisted Sister soundtrack on the second one, but that is neither here nor there. What is important is that you should never EVER clamp any tube on any frame. Ever. Clamp the seat post, turn the damn thing upside down, do almost anything else. But DON'T clamp a frame tube or you might find yourself on the waiting list for a Big Dummy frame. Again.



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Finally, our own pie plow, Aaron the 25d Ice Ogre with a recovery power of 50, sends this link, ensuring his place in society, which is to say firmly entrenched in nerditude.

Man, that article was complicated. I'm not sure I finished it. Let's go get a taco.

Thankyoudrivethrough.

There are a lot of reasons to be late for work, but the best ones ought to be creative. One morning last week I rolled from home on the Dummy with a carefree feeling that something cool was about to come my way. Our family is moving soon, from a cramped apartment into a house. We have a lot of stuff but not much furniture. Providing a place for friends and family to sit is a minor detail, I suppose. Although I wasn’t necessarily thinking about that on this fine morn, I have been hitting alleys and scoping out curbs during my recent commutes.

As I rounded a corner behind some of the swanky houses that overlook the south side of Lake Harriet, I spied a chair on the curb. I slowed down to look it over and discovered it was a pretty nice find – a solid oak mission style rocker. A sign taped to the back read: “Please take. The rocker needs to be repaired.” The chair’s previous owners were kind enough to leave the broken tip of the rocker. A few clamps, some epoxy and a couple of dowels should do the trick. Hell, the seat cushion wasn’t even stained. I called the brains of our domestic operation to see if: A) she wanted it and B) she’d come get it with the car since I was already late for work. She said it sounded nice but was frazzled and had to get the kids out the door and to the sitter right away. I contemplated leaving my prize but I knew it wouldn’t be there for long.

“What the hell … I’m already late for work,” I surmised, “What’s another half hour?” So I pulled my assortment of straps and bungees from the Freeloaders and went to town lashing that oaken beauty to the deck of the Dummy. Several joggers, dog walkers and at least two motorists passed by while I was securing the precariously balanced chair. When it was all said and done I had a Joad family load ready to wheel the two miles back home.